Soup

“Excuse me waiter, look at my soup.

There’s something moving in here.

Please turn that ominous music off,

It’s starting to fill me with fear.

A dark shape beneath the surface,

Swimming laps around my spoon.

I demand to see your manager

If this isn’t dealt with soon.

It just dived up from the surface

And lunged for my Kung Pao Beef!

Quick, get the coastguard on the phone,

Did you see the size of those teeth?!

I’d heard this was quite a delicacy,

A dish of exceptional class –

But what a disgrace! I’ve half a mind

To set Gordon Ramsay on your arse!

So please fetch my coat, I am leaving!

Your chef must be insane

To serve such a dangerous dish, I’ll never

Be ordering this again.

Fin